So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
