i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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