I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
