These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize