i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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