dude i'm inner monologue high
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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