before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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