I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
