Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
