just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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