This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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