My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
