I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize