Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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