It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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