while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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