So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
