I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just pee around me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
