He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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