fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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