hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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