Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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