PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
