What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
