I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize