dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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