i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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