Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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