My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude. I can hear the air.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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