I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
