watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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