What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
