Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
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Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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