***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
