I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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