I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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