If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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