Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
