that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize