Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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