chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
