So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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