girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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