i just sold back the books i vomitted on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
