how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we're making bets on your personal life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
