end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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