Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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