I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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