i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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