SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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