I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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