i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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