im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize