im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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