i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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