me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
