Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
