when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
