Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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