...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
