so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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