don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
