You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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