I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
