Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
