I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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