dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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